What Don't You Want Anymore?
A different way to look at your life.
What Don’t You Want Anymore?
Lately, I’ve started a few new things. Some haven’t officially rolled out yet. Some have. None are these massive, brilliant ventures that make other people go wow.
Spoiler: Other people going wow shouldn’t be the key to your happiness. Why? Because you can’t control other people’s wows. You can only control your own and if you worry too much about wowing other people? Well, you lose what it was/is that makes you go wow.
Sorry, that was a long spoiler.
Let’s get back to it.
I’ve started a few things, which makes me a bit busier as I try to figure things out. These things though? They might be my passion. Actually, I think they are.
I’m currently trying to:
1. Build up an art business.
2. Create a podcast (DUDE, NO) about crime and real-life scariness.
3. Start a tourism-based business for next year.
4. Create a feature-based local online newspaper.
5. Start a product-based business (Shaun my human is doing most of the heavy lifting on that one).
I was vaguely worried about trying to build a few things simultaneously because that’s a lot of mind stretching, but also because it’s a lot of chances for failure. I’m honestly already failing every day in the minutiae of it. Instagram breaks every time I try to build a second account. My WordPress skills are severely lacking.
But it’s fun because it’s a challenge.
And it’s kind of fun because it isn’t too easy.
However, I really think it’s fun because these are my actual passions. And when you get to pursue your passions and don’t think the nitty-gritty stuff is boring? That’s when you know it’s your passion.
Tim Denning recently wrote:
“I’m not an expert. I can barely wake up, dress myself, and wipe my own ass, seriously. I have no idea. Neither do all these other guru influencers selling protein shakes for $5 commissions.
“Throw sh*t at the wall. See what sticks.
“Passion gets unlocked through experimentation.”
And as you can see above, there is a lot of experimentation going on in my world right now. And I kind of love it.
The reasons that I love it is because I know that:
1. If I fail, it doesn’t make me a failure.
2. I’m not investing massive amounts of money to try these adventures out.
3. I’m not defined by what I do.
4. My passions can change.
5. I can always get a job at our local grocery store if things go terribly financially bad.
Unlocking those fears and realizing that in most cases if I fail means that I’m not going to jail or die usually helps my anxiety out a bit. It helps free me up to take the bigger risks, to play and experiment with what I might want to do.
But another way to look at it is this question below.
WHO DO YOU NOT WANT TO BE?
Denning has an interesting idea about unlocking your passion. He says a good way to go about it is to ask yourself “what don’t I want anymore?”
Maybe if you’re a caretaker you don’t want to have to work weekends any longer or be at everyone’s beck and call constantly.
Maybe you don’t want to be so rushed that you can’t talk to the people you’re taking care of.
Maybe you don’t want to sit in front of a computer all day any longer.
Or tweak it a bit if that doesn’t work: Who is it that you don’t want to be?
Maybe you don’t want to be someone who stares at screens for eight hours.
Maybe you don’t want to be someone who cleans toilets on the weekend.
Maybe you don’t want to be someone who can’t talk to other people for more than thirty seconds because you’re always rushing to other clients.
That reverse kind of thinking can be really helpful when it comes to finding your passion, what it is you want to do. Don’t overthink it. Just start taking the steps.
Or maybe try this . . .
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW NOT TO DO?
Denning had another idea in his piece that really hit home for me.
When I shifted from becoming a newspaper editor to a novelist, I leapt at the chance to get a graduate degree and learn everything I could about writing novels in a short amount of time. I didn’t think too much about it. I didn’t even research. I just found a Master of Fine Arts program that allowed students to focus on writing for kids and young adults.
It was the best leap I ever made. In a year (halfway through the program) I had three books under contract. A series I wrote became a NYT bestseller and an international bestseller. All because I took a leap and devoted time and effort into something I loved doing.
Overthinking has kept me back the last few years, and I realized that I was using thinking as a crutch for my fear of failure. Do you do that, too?
I was lucky and successful as a novelist because I love writing and I focused a lot on learning and experimenting and getting the words on the page. It’s about execution, really. And I wasn’t afraid of messing up. I messed up all the time at my graduate school, in my query letters and on the page. I still made it.
I know from experience that you do not have to be perfect to get your dreams.
How cool is that?
It's pretty cool. And it happened because I didn’t care about failure, because I loved writing stories and building up worlds piece by piece and word by word, and because it was a passion. I did it because I didn’t know how not to write.
And that’s still true.
I don’t know how to want to not be outside, not do art, not write, not create things.
What is it that you don’t know how not to do?
Here’s that link to Tim Denning’s piece.
LIVING HAPPY ARTICLES YOU MAY HAVE MISSED LAST WEEK
All about your brain multitasking and how it can be bad. Plus, naked Florida men doing silly things.
What kind of world do you want?
Uncle Freddie and Aunt Leslie and finding love no matter what the differences are.
Here are some cool links about happiness.
Here’s a cool piece about how the I-TRI program makes middle school girls bad a**es.
A bit about some neighborhood kids helping another kid learn how to ride his bike became a viral video.
And 19 positive psychology exercises that don’t involve squats or cardio. :)