Taking Chances Trumps Being Perfect
This is what my broken brain proves for me
So, as many of you know, when I was in college, I had the Epstein Barr virus and it didn’t just give me mono. It attacked my brain a bit. For a few months I had pretty bad and pretty constant seizures.
This did some things.
I was no longer able to visualize things in my head or perfectly replay conversations, which had been one of my greater brain talents. I’d hear a verbal cue (or read one on a test paper) and be able to recount what people or teacher’s said.
That super power was gone.
And in its place?
In its place was a brain that was much more likely to have seizures than most brains, but also a brain that has a lot of whole word hitches when it comes to my own writing.
Tree for through?
I’ve done it.
Balance Rock for Black Friar?
I’ve done it.
Fornication for fortification?
Probably my best one yet.
It’s humbling to have had a brain that used to be better and it’s often a bit scary-making to put out stories (news or otherwise) on my own without the back-up of other brains helping me out. But, it’s also often lovely. People who are kind and point out the errors are doing that kindly. They’re choosing to help.
Other people who shout about them IN ALL CAPS? Not so much.
MAKING MISTAKES IS HELPFUL. NO REALLY. IT IS.
But what making mistakes does for me is a few things.
It keeps my ego in check.
It reminds me that I don’t get the right to angrily judge other people for messing up since I do it all the time.
It gives other people something to do/help with/look for.
It reminds me that we are all more than just our ability to spell; that being super smart isn’t always the best way to be super kind; that there are all kinds of ways to be-to just be—who we are and that some of those ways are funny (fornication for fortification) and some are horrifying and some just are.
BROKEN CAN BE HELPFUL TOO.
Being a tiny bit broken? It’s okay. Some people think certain brokenness is a gift.
For me, I’ve learned that when you don’t think like everyone else it creates opportunity.
It’s harder to be like everyone else when you can’t emulate the way they think (or even the way you once did) or the way they believe or the way they act.
It’s okay to be like everyone else. It’s also okay not to be. You get to decide what it is that you personally want for you.
We often think that not being perfect is an excuse for not trying.
That’s not a really great way to think if there are things you want to try.
I know so many writers (and artists and potential mountain climbers and entrepreneurs) who get stuck with all the things that they might do or have done wrong. The boo-boos.
My biggest personal life rule is that if you don’t get hurt, if someone else doesn’t get hurt, and nobody ends up in prison? Well, then you should probably take the chance.
Knowing that you might mess up and it won’t be the end of the world? It’s pretty freeing.
HERE IS THE THING
You have to embrace that you aren’t going to be amazingly perfect every time. While everyone else stresses about perfection, you can just leap lightyears ahead of the pack by just trying, by just doing.
A lot of us get so stuck in our catastrophizing that we never just do the things.
Worry is a reason to give up, to not go after your goals, to not have the life you’re into, to not put your voice out there.
People get stuck because they are afraid.
I’m here to prove to you that you can still exist and have a cute puppy even when you mess things up all the time. All. The. Time. Seriously, I’ve had my skirt fall down in public and still managed to hit a NYT bestseller list. It’s all okay.
QUICK NOTE FROM ME
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COMFORTING
I also have a once-a-week Substack over here and it’s mellow and I share a poem (not my own, God forbid, there’s nothing comforting about those), soup recipe, and other comforting things there. It’s just quietly hanging out there. You can come hang out, too.