Power Words, Sensory Language, and the Peril of Zombie Hamsters
Write Better Now
Imagine this: You’re typing along, feeling good about your latest scene, when you reread a sentence and realize—meh.
Yes, the dreaded meh.
The words are there, but they don’t do anything. They sit flat on the page like a deflated whoopie cushion, when what you really need is a whoopie cushion that actually works.
This is a time to use a couple of the big tools of writing: power words and sensory language. These babies are not-so-secret weapons that make your writing leap off the page and gnaw on your readers’ brains (in a good way, not a zombie hamster way).
Also, I’m trying bolding things here. Please let me know if that works.
What Are Power Words?
Power words are the emotionally charged, high-impact words that grab readers by the collar and make them pay attention. They evoke fear, excitement, curiosity, or even revulsion—whatever the moment demands.
Think words like lurking, howl, shatter, ecstatic, reckless, or devour.
Compare these two examples:
KIND OF MEH: The hamster was scary.
KIND OF GROSS: The hamster’s rotting lips peeled back to reveal twin needles of bone, its eyes two glossy marbles of hunger.
One of those likely makes you yawn. The other one likely makes you consider setting your pet store on fire. DO NOT DO THIS! Zombie hamsters are not real and arson is very bad.
The Magic of Sensory Language
Sensory details pull readers into the moment by making them feel it. Smell, taste, touch, sound, and sight—your five best friends.
Sight: The hamster’s milky eyes twitched toward me.
Sound: A wet skritch-skritch came from inside the cage.
Smell: The air reeked of copper and something worse—like old meat left in the sun.
Touch: Its tiny claws scraped over my skin like rusted needles.
Taste: Fear soured my tongue.
Now you’re there—and probably regretting this trip to Petco.
Exercise: The Power Word & Sensory Boost
A good way to work on this is to take a dull sentence and zombify it (or at least, make it better).
Try this one:
Original: The hamster was in the cage, and it looked kind of weird.
Now, just rewrite this using power words and sensory details to make it vivid, eerie, or outright terrifying. Drop your best attempt in the comments!
Final Thought (or, Why This Matters Beyond Zombie Hamsters)
Power words and sensory details aren’t just for horror. They actually work in every genre. I’m just obsessed with zombie hamsters right now.
Romance? Hearts pound and lips tingle.
Mystery? Shadows stretch and whispers slither.
Thriller? Bad guys lurk.
Fantasy? That dragon’s breath reeks of sulfur and singes the air.
The goal is just to make your reader feel something other than meh, even if what their feeling is a deep, primal fear of hamster bites.
Now go forth and write dangerously. And maybe … check your hamster’s cage before you go to bed.
PLACE TO SUBMIT
The Ex-Puritan Writing Competitions
Poetry:
Deadline: Apr 2, 2025 9:30 AM
Entry fee: $3.00
Guidelines: Include a succinct description of no more than 250 words in the cover letter field. Submissions should not exceed 5,000 words.
Prize: $50 PER POEM, OR $100 PER POET IF MULTIPLE POEMS ACCEPTED
Essays:
Deadline: Wed, Apr 2, 2025 9:30 AM, which is very exact.
Entry Fee: $3.00
Guidelines : no more than 250 words in the cover letter. Submissions should not exceed 5000 words.
Payment: $200 PER ESSAY