I Don't Have a Million Life Lessons But I Do Have a Few
The other day, someone said to me, “Getting old sucks.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” they insisted. “And I don’t have any life lessons. I’m not like you.”
“I have life lessons?” I asked.
“Duh. Yeah.”
Here’s the thing or life lesson #1 of the life lessons I didn’t know I had: I don’t think getting old is all that bad.
This is because I’m not a narcissist (I don’t think) and I’ve never judged my own worth or anyone else’s on their looks, their wrinkles, the symmetry of their face or the tightness/elasticity of their skin or if their knees creak when they get up off the sofa.
But recently one of my friends told me that another one of my friends told him that she wanted to not hang around old people anymore. She wanted to hang around people her own age. Spoiler: I am not her age.
This whole exchange was apparently not quite true or her thoughts about old people like me changed because she then invited me to a party, but there you go?
Some of us mature out of agism as we pack on the years. Some of us don’t.
Some of us have a lot of drama no matter what decade we’re in. Some of us don’t.
Some of us just don’t worry about reels that say what you should wear if you are (insert age here). Some of us do.
And all of that is okay, right?
It’s okay to live the life and experiences you have. And it’s okay for those experiences to change as your age or circumstances or philosophy changes.
Here are a couple of things that I think I’ve learned during my little life journey so far.
It’s a life journey and to make the most of it, you kind of want to lean into having experiences.
You don’t have to jump off buildings or learn about venture capitalism if you don’t want to, but there aren’t a ton of opportunities to explore if you don’t leave your room.
If you are capable of leaving that room once in a while, of looking away from the screen? Do it.
Don’t be afraid to look foolish.
I am the biggest dork. I have had my skirt fall to the ground in NYC, worn clothes backwards and told people about it, totally called a Jeff a Rob for five years.
It’s okay.
People who are perfect—or present as perfect—are pretty boring.
And there’s so much pressure trying to be perfect (in a social media photo, a significant other’s event, a class) that it gives you stress. But it also keeps you from being the gloriously imperfect and unique individual that you are.
Think about Robin Williams. He was super brave about just spouting out his thoughts, his comedy, his words. They didn’t all land perfect laughs. But so many did.
So many did.
You have to be willing to take the chance. Yes, the internet is forever and your actions can come back to mortify you, but you know what? Your life is not forever and you don’t want to spend it being afraid and having no experiences at all.
Kids can be awesome and they can be terrible. Puppies, too.
Gasp! I know! I know. When I had Em, I was terrified. But the responsibility of having Em made me a much better human. This is also true about Jack the Puppy.
How is that terrible?
Eh, when you worry about those kids you love so much (and those puppies) and they are risk takers? It tends to give you some heart palpitations. There’s a whole lot of letting go that happens there and that’s hard.
Hard work is okay when you’re going after your dreams.
It’s okay to work hard and to go after your dreams. It’s also okay to not.
But if you have dreams? You sort of have to take the steps to get to them.
It’s super easy to be okay with the status quo. Change is scary, right? Change means that there is a state that is unlike the now. It’s the unknown.
And if you go after your dreams and actually get them? That usually means change.
You want to invest in yourself if you can and think about long-term plans, take opportunities and put in the work to get you to the goal you want.
Change is scary but it’s so often really good.
QUICK NOTE
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COMFORTING
I also have a once-a-week Substack over here and it’s mellow and I share a poem (not my own, God forbid, there’s nothing comforting about those), soup recipe, and other comforting things there. It’s just quietly hanging out there. You can come hang out, too.