How Do You Build Bridges?
This weekend, I went to a couple of things in my community, which is a small tourist town on a Maine island.
The thing about our town is that it’s currently embroiled in a bit of a cruise ship fight that has some louder people on both sides being . . . loud.
They feel othered. There are social class implications. There’s a lot going on during this clash. National news picks up on the fight over and over again, which only heightens the overall temperature in our small 5,000-strong year-round community.
It’s not just us. In a neighboring community people are fighting about a $40,000 art installation, which was privately funded and says “HOPEFUL.”
It’s a lot.
But this weekend, I saw some cool things.
I saw a five-on-five soccer festival put on by area restaurants for their employees after a summer of dealing with tourists and locals and hot kitchens and pressure.
And I saw an adorable historical society hold a fundraiser that’s meant to get people to care about the artifacts of our town’s history.
In a world where people argue about so much and those arguments can escalate to violence and wars and oppression and injustice in multiple ways, it sometimes feels like there is no way that we can possibly come together again, neighbor-to-neighbor, human-to-human.
But we can.
We do.
This weekend showed me that.
People show me that. Again and again.
WHY DO WE WANT TO BUILD SOME BRIDGES?
Marley Pierce and Simon Greer write for the Greater Good,
“There is far too little reward for people who cross lines of difference, listen with curiosity to those we disagree with, humanize the “other,” and humbly acknowledge our blind spots as we learn from people who see the world differently. In fact, stepping out of line, even the slightest hint of questing political orthodoxy or ideological certainty, can have severe social consequences. This pressure has contributed to social isolation, undermined critical inquiry, and added to the fraying of our country’s democratic fabric.
“That is why we work to cultivate the will and practice the skills for bridging gaps and crossing lines of difference to solve pressing problems, on campuses, in workplaces, congregations, organizations and communities. At this moment, this is counter-cultural work.”
They talk about eight basic tenets:
1. Know yourself and your purpose
2. Believe in the power of listening
3. Embrace complexity
4. Create a constructive and relational context
5. Use bridge-building to solve real-world problems
6. Cultivate a deep love
7. Commit to lifelong practice
8. Be ready for discomfort
Each of those can be broken down to real discussion, right? But if you just look at them for a hot second, they all center around being confident enough in who you are and the good that you want to be (and that you want to do) so that you can evolve, so you can work with kindness, so that you can live a life that gets messy sometimes, but that always—always—has a backbone of love.
How cool is that?
CULTIVATING OUR DIGNITY
A local official I know, who is very smart, recently went to a conference and he sent me a couple images from one of the speakers. It’s called the DIGNITY INDEX.
I was super honored that he thought of sending it to me. What a gift, right?
According to its really well-done and clean website, the group’s about this:
”Political discourse that demonizes the other side is crippling our democracy and dividing our families. The cause? Words. Studies have shown that language rooted in contempt creates division, while language rooted in dignity can overcome it.”
In my community, the rhetoric around some topics (cruise ships, dog parks, short-term rentals, property taxes) is increasingly hitting that 4-to-2 level if you substitute “town” or “community” for country.
But, it’s also not doing that. There are still people in that 8-5 range, pushing through, trying to do the work, trying to build things (festivals, soccer games, historical societies, kids, schools, libraries) that are meant to join us, to lift us all, to remind us that we are all humans—flawed yes, but beautiful too—and that work? That dignity we can grant each other? Damn, if it’s not important.
I’m going to work on this more myself, too. I hope you’ll check one of those links out.
Dignity is a pretty cool thing. Love and respect? For yourself and others? Whew. It’s actually pretty sexy.
Thank you for this excellent reminder that we can all do better and should. XOXO