Hanna, Irene, Women, and the Power of Rhubarb Pie
I had a pretty long post that I was going to post here for Labor Day. It was about influencers and the power of dishonesty.
This is obviously not that post.
Instead, I’m going to talk about Irene, who I’ve talked about before, and Hanna.
Hanna works with my daughter Em, and she made strawberry rhubarb pie that she gave to her coworkers on August 28.
This struck me.
One, because that’s this incredible small kindness that makes our community better. One youngish person making something with her own two hands for other people. Not to get something, but just to share it.
For some random reasons, Em couldn’t have the pie, so she texted me and asked if I wanted it.
I haven’t had rhubarb pie for years. My mom used to bake it because it was my nana’s favorite pie. My nana was a great gardener and rhubarb is the sort of thing that likes to grow. A lot. So, Mom would make her the pie and she’d make one for us. My mom was a great baker.
Both of these ladies have been dead for a long while now. Their relationship was not perfect.
My nana’s birthday was August 28.
Em brought the pie piece home. I cried and ate that pie piece and knew that it was a gift—not just from Hanna (or Em who thought of me) but from my mom and Nana and all the women and men who do this kind of small kindness over and over again to no fanfare, to no influencer-social-media-approved posts. They just do kindness. They just do generosity even as the world bemoans that lack of kindness, generosity and humility.
Hanna’s kindness doesn’t get to be a newspaper article in this sort of world. But it should especially in a community where everyone is talking about us-vs-them.
LET’S TALK ABOUT IRENE
I’ve talked about Irene before. I hope you’ll indulge me again. Because Hanna and Irene have a lot in common, and it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about this month.
It’s kindness.
It’s generosity.
It’s creating songs outside of themselves no matter what.
Irene was a singer. When I met her she was 92 and she radiated happiness and energy and brilliance. She was a woman who took it all in and loved everyone with the kind of love that knows you are flawed, but doesn't care because we are all flawed.
"People ask me what my secret is." She laughed. "I say I have no secret. I just am me."
She was so much her.
She sang soprano in the church choir. She has sung for God for years, decades.
"Is that your secret?" I asked.
She just laughed.
"I still go to church," she said. "I still go to the center."
She used a cane that her neighbor gave her. The cane was solid, black, nice, but not enough to keep her steady all the time. Her house was neat and clean. Her caregiver sat at a table watching as Deb and Scott Hammond, two Bar Harbor, Maine Rotarians, fit Irene to a wheelchair.
Irene was an easy fit, gracious and kind. It was hard not to stay inside her house and hang out forever, to maybe beg her to sing hymns, to share her secret that is no secret.
Outside flowers surrounded her home. Birds of Paradise and Bougainvilleas flourish, blooming everywhere, reaching out of the lush green leaves and up to towards the sky.
Bar Harbor/MDI Rotary Club, Rotary Club of Ellsworth,Maine and Dawson Creek Rotary Club members raised funds to purchase, ship and fit wheelchairs to people like Irene. Club members were helped by a Rotary District 7790 grant and nine Rotary clubs in Belize.
It was a collaborative effort that crosses three countries and created lifelong friendships for everyone involved, including Irene.
The Angry Man
I once had an angry local man ask me why our Rotary club went to other countries when we should be doing work here, in our own county. He was the kind of man who believes in taking care of needs at home first, I guess? Which I get.
But the thing is the Rotary club did and does.
Local Rotary clubs in Maine help local organizations in Maine all the time. Our club alone raises thousands of dollars that it gives to local nonprofits every year. But the beauty of Rotary is that it's more than that. It's about building international friendships, too. It's about Rotarians from Belize also coming to Maine or Canada and helping us with projects. It's about making connections and building stronger friendships, not just with the woman next door who needs her driveway shoveled out, but with people like Irene.
It’s something Hanna does at that individual level at work and at life.
I said to the angry man, "You can help people at home, and people far away. They aren't mutually exclusive."
And he said, "No you can't."
And I said, "You know that playground? By the Y? Rotarians helped build that? You know our hospital? Almost every year, Rotarians raise thousands to help local cancer patients who go there."
He sputtered and turned away.
There will always be people who are threatened by love and friendship and good rhubarb pie, by kindness and generosity. Don't let them make you doubt yourself.
Stay shiny even as they try to dull you down.
EVERYTHING ISN'T AN "EITHER OR"
There is too much anger and hate in this world. We need to hold each other close and offer support on all levels. And good work? It doesn't have to be an either-or situation.
You can help people in your community. You can help people across the world.
You can have friends next door. You can have friends in another hemisphere.
Good things don't need to exclude other good things. Dichotomies don't need to be worshiped.
LIVING LOVE TO FIGHT HATE
When people kill other people, shout hate, hurt their bodies, their souls, because they've created a hierarchy of worth and decided that some of us are 'other,’ hate festers.
And it's easy to feel powerless against that. I often feel incredibly powerless. By often think, “all the time.”
What can you do against that?
Support organizations and people that are working for peace and supporting empathy. Work within yourself to support empathy and acceptance and peace. Make friends. Spread love. Spread knowledge. Be brave. Share your pie.
Meet people like Irene, celebrate people like Hanna, deal with people like the angry man. Do like Rotary asks its members to: build goodwill and friendships. Be a part of a movements toward change.
And don't give up.
Never give up even when it seems hate is all around you, even when people question your simplest of acts. Do not give up.
IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER IF YOU ARE INTO IT.
IN THE WOODS is still out there. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
ART
You can buy some of my art. I paint to help inform my stories and some of the prints are available now. There will be more soon. You can check it out here.