Day 23: Let's Talk Zombie Hamsters and Adverbs
You and me? We’re going practical today with a major writing tip.
Sometimes a way to write better is pretty easy. This is one of those ways. It’s about adverbs.
HERE IS THE HINT: DON’T BE ADDICTED TO ADVERBS.
Seriously, it’s exceedingly frustrating to watch people use adverbs profusely and constantly, now.
See what I did there?
All those -ly words are adverbs. The “now” actually is, too, but we aren’t worried about that one.
There are all kinds of adverbs (manner, time, place, frequency, conjunctive, blah, blah, blah). That will feel like a lot. Do not stress! We’re going to winnow it down to just one type here.
That’s because the ones we writers tend to overuse are called manner adverbs. Those modify a verb.
Some examples:
The zombie hamsters gnawed on the furniture enthusiastically, as if auditioning for an infomercial on tiny chainsaws.
They scurried dramatically, like tiny soap opera villains plotting their next betrayal.
One hamster lunged overconfidently at a terrified cat, only to be gently batted across the room.
They chattered their teeth passionately, as if composing an undead hamster slam poem.
A particularly ambitious one tried to climb the couch heroically, but slid back down defeatedly like an undercooked noodle.
So, when you have too many, this helpful word becomes . . . ludicrous and annoying. The positive is that it can add to the humor of the scene/sentence/book if that is your intent.
Examples
The zombie hamsters frantically chewed through the couch, clumsily tumbled onto the floor, and then triumphantly squeaked as if they had won a great battle.
They viciously swarmed the snack cabinet, determinedly pried open a bag of sweet potato chips, and gleefully scattered crumbs across the counter like tiny undead conquerors.
One hamster menacingly approached the sleeping cat, hesitantly sniffed its tail, and then regretfully fled when the cat woke up.
The undead rodents ravenously devoured a granola bar they found in the sofa cushions, chaotically knocked over a penguin lamp, and sheepishly scurried under the couch when they realized they were being watched surrepticiously.
When you do this, you sort of start to swerve into the lane of telling rather than showing in your writing. A couple of adverbs are an awesome tool, but just like any tools, they can become silly when you use too many.
WRITING EXERCISE TO HELP YOU WITH THIS
The Adverb Apocalypse: A Zombie Hamster Writing Challenge
Step 1: Brainstorm Adverbs
Make three lists of adverbs:
Manner (how?) – e.g., clumsily, heroically, suspiciously
Place (where?) – e.g., nearby, underground, everywhere
Time (when?) – e.g., suddenly, frequently, never
Step 2: The Setup
Write a micro-scene (3-5 sentences) about a group of zombie hamsters invading a location (your kitchen, a library, a haunted pet store, the governor’s mansion, a town council chamber).
Step 3: Adverb Overload
Rewrite the scene, but this time, add:
At least three manner adverbs (how the action is performed—chaotically, broadly, suddenly);
At least one place adverb (where an action takes place—below, above, near);
At least one time adverb (when the action happens—yesterday, noon, soon, always, later).
Here’s an example:
Before: The zombie hamsters chewed on the furniture and chased the dog.
After: The zombie hamsters ravenously chewed on the furniture, chaotically chased the dog around the living room, and suddenly launched themselves heroically at a bag of super-spicy tortilla chips, yesterday.
Step 4: Extreme Adverb Chaos Challenge
For an extra challenge, rewrite the scene again using way too many adverbs in different clauses. Go wild!
PLACE TO SUBMIT
Literary Wanderlust is accepting submissions via Query Tracker.
To submit your manuscript for consideration, please do the following:
Prepare your query letter, a full synopsis (including spoilers and the ending), and the first three chapters of your novel to be submitted. Include your social media platforms in the query form.
Submit your novel here.
Your completed manuscript length should be 60,000 words to 100,000 words.
It is currently accepting in the following genres:
· Adult Romance (All sub-genres and heat levels)
· Women's Fiction
· Historical and Western Fiction
· Adult Paranormal and Urban Fantasy
· Adult Crime, Mystery, and Thriller Fiction
· Adult LGBTQ
· YA and Adult Science Fiction and Fantasy
BONUS HAPPINESS
Not all hamster are zombies. Happy Sunday and happy writing, everyone! <3
And from a time when the internet was a much sweeter place.
As a reminder, you can find the daily writing posts (my big February experiment) here on the main site.