Being Optimistic Can Help Change Your Life
Tips to being more optimistic
I used to be a lot smarter than I am now.
That sounds like a cliche, right? Some sort of over-the-top influencer talk? But it’s true.
My IQ has dropped a few points.
And I know exactly when all that cognitive degeneration happened: my first year of college. I had mono, and the Epstein-Barr virus that causes mono went after my brain. I had target rashes, Jacksonian seizures, would lose hours of time. Every time I had a seizure, I lost what I’d just studied. And for the first couple of months, I had seizures a lot. I dropped two courses (philosophy and Russian) and went down to just four. The school’s health center moved me out of my quad and into a single. It was weird and lonely and frustrating.
It wasn’t the best way to start college. Even my Pollyanna knew that.
When my neurologist told me that I’d lost quite a few IQ points, he quipped, “But, at least you had a lot to lose.”
He was also a Pollyanna.
I was always a person who had such a bias toward optimism that it was . . . Well, it was kind of annoying.
Have seizures? I’d think, “At least I have the kind of seizures that I have a warning about before they happen.”
Have to sleep in a car because someone is mean? I’d think, “At least I have this car to sleep in.”
Husband gets cancer? I’d think, “At least it’s this kind. This can be a very chill kind.” Spoiler: it was.
Anyway, I lost that optimistic outlook a bit over the last ten years and especially this year as I’ve reported hyper-local news, but I’ve been trying to bring it back. That’s why there’s LIVING HAPPY, this Substack. I’m trying to find a way to be gentler with myself, find out who I am again—even without those beloved IQ points.
Here’s the thing though . . .
Lucky people tend to be super optimistic.
Tim Denning writes,
“Tony Robbins taught me in 2013 that it’s always good to see the world better than it is, because our monkey brain defaults to exaggerated chaos.
“Richard’s research found that optimism significantly contributed to how lucky someone became. In one test Richard gave teachers a made-up list of students who were late bloomers and would be slow learners.
“The teachers treated the students differently because of this data. As a result the students did poorly in school.
“Optimism lifts the veil on reality. It helps us imagine outcomes that don’t exist. It lets creativity thrive instead of being suffocated by pessimism.”
The Richard that Denning is referring to is Richard Wiseman who wrote “The Luck Factor” after 10 years of study. He has podcasts here.
Here’s the thing: luck is at least partially about mindset. It’s about how you look at the world, how you resonate with it, right?
Wisemen says that luck has multiple parts: making most of opportunities, trusting your intuition, resiliency, and optimism.
But luck? It also has to do with skill. It has to do with being prepared and ready to take advantage of those opportunities. When women succeed we often think it’s because we’re lucky instead of because we’re skilled. And men tend to have the opposite mindset. They think they’ve succeeded because they are skilled and not because they’re lucky.
It’s both. It’s always both. Our skills and our mindset make our luck.
HOW TO BE MORE OPTIMISTIC
So, I’m working on that optimism part. Maybe you will, too?
Psychology Today’s Sarah Sperber and Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. gives some great tips about this. She writes:
1. “Choose your own version of optimism.
There’s no need to be optimistic all the time in every scenario (this is impossible). Instead, you can try slowly incorporating new optimistic ideas into your worldview in a way that feels authentic to you.
2. “Start questioning pessimistic thoughts.
We sometimes tell ourselves that our pessimistic thoughts are realistic thoughts. But remember, thoughts are not facts. If you find yourself mired in a negativity, try to pause and question your thoughts.
3. “Surround yourself with other optimists.
Being around others who are optimistic can help you learn new tricks and discover how others find the positives even in negative situations. Simply being around an optimist can make us more optimistic.
4. “Don’t force optimism.
Becoming more optimistic is like any new habit: it requires motivation and practice to become second nature. It can feel a little unnatural at first (like riding a bike or rollerskating). So try it when you feel comfortable, but don't worry about pushing yourself too far out of your comfort zone at first.”
THE QUESTIONS
How about you? Do you view yourself as optimistic or pessimistic? Do you have tips on how to lean more toward optimism? And if you are optimistic, do you think you view yourself as lucky?