BE BRAVE FRIDAY ON A SATURDAY

I lost my writing heart

First off, apologies! The holiday made me forget to actually post this yesterday! I wrote it then though, in between all the wildness of trying to cover Independence Day holiday in our little island town.

Part of the parade. It had bubbles!

I was super lucky and got to be part of an event at the local library with author Amity Gaige and when we were texting, I was supposed to say who I was.

And I wrote, “I am a novelist (at least I used to be).

There’s nothing like full disclosure to someone you barely know, right?

Amity’s books.

Here’s the thing: I don’t know where my heart went.

And by heart, I mean my writing heart.

I love writing. I love storytelling. I love communicating. But I have lost that oomph that makes me super excited about a story of my own.

So, I think I might have something wrong with my writing me.

It might be my agent is not into really making me feel like I’m important as a business partner. It might be watching the traditional publishing industry implode and explode and implode again. It might be about the independent publishing industry requiring so much hustle—a hustle that I’ve never been good at.

I’m not sure.

But right now, I’ve lost my writing heart.

And that’s scary because novelist has been a big part of my identity for a long while now.

Look at this beautiful place. It’s the Bar Harbor Historical Society that was hosting musicians from the Bar Harbor Music Festival. Those musicians? Played with their musician hearts.

There are so many scary things about being a novelist, especially when your book baby is ready to go off into the world of anonymous reviews and bookstore shelves and you have to go to do readings with people like me, and there is nothing you can do now to toughen her up, make her street smart.

You just have to pray your book baby won’t be a train wreck and become the kind of book that the paparazzi take pictures of because she’s always forgetting to wear her underwear when she gets out of cars.

These lovely runners faces are not a reaction to my skirt falling down. They were participating in the Whoopie Mile Championships here (also on Thursday). It is hard to run and eat whoopie pies.

Anyway, all of this made me think about vulnerability and BE BRAVE FRIDAY.

Because writing a blog, a book, a podcast, a newspaper, creating art, any type of true communication and art is an act of expression and it makes you vulnerable. And this world? This world is currently full of people who attack others. Some of those attacks are horrific and visible. Some are hidden.

So, why do it? Why do anything?

Because if you don't, the trolls win.

Because if you don't, fear wins.

Because for every troll attacking you, there is someone who needs your story and your voice. That's why.

I’m adding this in today because it’s a really great example of how you can do nothing wrong and someone will still say that you are lying and an idiot. This was posted under one of our many reels about the parade we covered yesterday. It was indeed in Bar Harbor. I’m thinking that possibly she’s upset because there were people in the parade who had signs that had political opinions likely opposite of hers? And maybe they are the idiots and they are not “Bar Harbor” though they do live here? I’m not sure.

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Anyway, this is why you should still be vulnerable despite the evil in this world.

Ready?

Vulnerable People are Leaders

People who lead need to connect to others. Vulnerability and authenticity are ways of connection, ways that we break out of our comfort zones and reach for bigger, better things.

Vulnerability Helps Others

Almost every time I blog or post about something that isn't considered cool, (having epilepsy, growing up poor, sleeping in a car, being assaulted), people tell me that I'm inspiring. I sure don't ever feel inspiring. At all. And I have a hard time accepting that compliment, but ... I appreciate that kindness because it means that it means those people are getting something positive out of my life or what I'm saying.

Plus, how cool is it that they took the time out of their lives to deliberately say something kind and supportive.

Honestly?

Can there be a bigger gift than hearing that you've helped someone else? Somehow? Even though you were just being you.

Vulnerability Is Contagious

Being brave and exposing yourself and your truth?

It helps others be brave. Sure, it can backfire.

When I first posted about my daughter being worried about me going to the Boston Marathon, trolls said my daughter (who is now a captain in the Army Reserves) must be a terrorist and have known about it or else why would she be worried about me. Yep ... They actually went there.

And that's the thing. You never know when someone is going to attack you or what for, but you can't let that fear of evil suppress your voice, your story, your thoughts or your truths.

Silence is oppressive.

But vulnerability? It's contagious.

Telling your story gives strength to others who haven't been able to tell theirs yet. Facing your demons helps others to face their own. Isn't that the kind of infection we want? Instead of a lack of civility and a parade of trolls looking to pull people down into their hellish pits, how about we work towards authenticity and vulnerability and truth?

A vulnerability contagion: I think that would be pretty cool.

Also what would be cool? Finding my writing heart again.

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