Are You Flourishing?
At Thanksgiving at a friend’s house this week, people kept asking me, “How are you doing?”
“And I kept saying, ‘Good, I think.’”
Not much of an answer. But the truth was that I was great in that moment. I got to talk to friends. Shaun got to hold a baby. There was smoked salmon in the room. People were gathering and discussing things. I explained the American health care systems to German doctors.
And there was pie.
But in the back of my head, I kept thinking about that question: How are you?
And it made me think about this question: Are you happy or are you flourishing?
ARE YOU FLOURISHING?
The ancient Greeks called flourishing throughout your life eudaimonia.
In those hours at my friends’ house, I was flourishing. I was immersed in the moments even as I ate to maximum density.
For author and scientist Paul Zak, flourishing is linked to having extraordinary experiences. Extraordinary experiences make your immersed. When you are immersed you receive biochemical jolts of joy. Pretty cool, right?
And our brains crave this, he says.
Not only do immersive experiments give us that joy jolt, but they also make us feel like we’re flourishing. That feeling fights the negative emotions bouncing around inside of us.
Our youngest kiddo gets this via gaming or drawing or sharing their alternate universe stories with us. I get this writing or making art or connecting with people over sweet potato casserole.
IMMERSION
Zak’s book, Immersion, talks a lot about how the brain acts in extraordinary experiences (immersive experiences) and also about how “humans are physiologic mimics” who “share others’ emotional states” and then “neural activity synchronizes.” This happens when we’re immersed in an experience and also when we feel safe psychologically.
According to Zak, when you have immersive experiences, they strengthen the pathways and networks of your brain. They even get your brain ready for more awe-some experiences, which can be as simple as a smile or a conversation or as amazing as hiking a mountain or sailing in the Gulf of Maine and seeing a right whale.
For me, the question becomes how do we bring joy and immersion to the people we interact with, to our professional work, our creative work, but also to ourselves?
Since I’ve started a local news blog, I’m not (as of today) trying to figure out how to not just give people information and news for free (without paywalls), but in a way that’s immersive and creates joy. I know! I know! The news? Creating joy? Good one, Carrie.
WHO YEARNS FOR IMMERSION?
I’d say we all do, and Zak says that there are definite populations within our culture who especially yearn for immersive experiences:
1. The adventurers (you know the people who sky dive and paddle board)
2. Senior citizens
3. Single adults and people who have issues with feeling lonely.
Harvard has several dedicated pages with science-backed exercises on how to flourish.
One is just imagining your best self.
OUR STORIES FROM LAST WEEK
LINKS TO LEARN MORE
We talk a lot about the immersive experience and Zak in these other posts.
https://www.cgu.edu/people/paul-zak/
The book by Paul Zak
https://hfh.fas.harvard.edu/how-to-flourish
VanderWeele, T.J. (2020). Activities for flourishing: an evidence-based guide. Journal of Positive Psychology and Wellbeing, 4:79-91.